I've been through my fair share of brutal breakups...

Like the one where he took my cats,

or that time my college bf broke up with me in a paddle boat in Central Park and he was surprised that I wanted to end our hour-long boat rental early. 

Romantic relationship breakups suck. Whether you're the breaker upper or the breakupee, or it just sort of falls apart, it's one of the most painful experiences us humans go through. 

I also had this one breakup where after a couple months of dating, we met for coffee and were both like "I'm just kinda not that into you." I genuinely felt great after that one. 

It's weirdly easy to translate romantic breakup experiences into job breakups. Let's talk about these 3 kinds of breakups and what we gain from each of them:

1. You quit and they screw you: 

Let's start with the ugliest reality and the one that most people fear. You know you want to quit - for a variety of reasons. Your needs are not being met, you're unfulfilled, you're being treated poorly, or perhaps you have a new flirtation with a different career path. 😉

Whatever the reasons, in the anticipation of quitting, your greatest fear is that the employer you're leaving will make it impossible to quit, love bomb you on the way out, trash your reputation, or just make your departure all-around brutal.  

Here's what you gain (and a journal prompt for each!):

• Your freedom: What does freedom feel like for me in my career? What does it look like?
• Clarity about their true character: What red flags will I watch out for in future employers? What will I do if I encounter them?

2. They give you the boot:

Whenever I've been broken up with, I'm all about saving face and getting the heck out of there as fast as possible. When it comes from an employer, however, it's important to start by gathering your resources. The real problem with being broken up with is the element of surprise - when you don't see it coming, how can you prepare? 

Take note in advance when layoffs are taking place in an organization. But even if you can't predict it, make sure you have ways to stay in touch with your contacts and friends you've made through work in case things go sideways. 

If you leave on good terms, this might be a case where "don't burn bridges" makes sense - if it's genuinely about them and not you, they just might be the "ex" you can return to for consulting opportunities or even a new job in a different area of the organization. 

Here's what you gain (and a journal prompt for each!):

• The skills of planning ahead: Lots of us do monthly budgeting, but how many of us do monthly maintenance of our networks? What would happen if you were laid off tomorrow and locked out of your work email? How can you prevent losing contacts?
• (Potentially) The opportunity to explore, safely: In the U.S. if you get laid off due to no fault of your own, you will likely have access to Cobra (extended health care benefits through your employer), unemployment insurance, and even transitional services that can help with updating your resume and cover letter. If you were laid off tomorrow with access to these services and benefits, what possibilities would you want to explore in your career?

3. You amicably part ways

Ah, the dream! You tell your employer that you're ready for something new and they agree that you'd be brilliant doing that thing and lovingly support you on the way out. 

I once had a boss who said, "you're singing a lovely song here, but you have to go where you can sing your best song." It made me feel like a joyful and appreciated little bird who was being encouraged to fly (or um sing). 

Your team and organizational leaders happily introduce you to members of their networks who can help you with your next career move, they mentor you along the way, and they sing your praises any time they meet someone who might be able to support you in your next endeavor. Just because you're not a perfect match for each other, doesn't mean you can't get along. 

Likewise, leaving on these terms likely means you're happy to introduce your talented friends and folks in your network to people still in the organization. It's all-around a win-win. 

Here's what you gain (and a journal prompt for each!):

• Mentors for Life: How might you continue to support those colleagues who have supported you in your exit? What have you learned from them about how you can behave if someone reporting to you wants to quit? 
• A fresh start: With the abundance of positivity and support, how will you make the most of this rare opportunity? 

Are you ready to end your toxic relationship with your job?

Join the 🤑 FREE 🤑 interactive workshop ($150 value) on July 21st:

HOW TO BREAK UP WITH YOUR JOB*
*and find the career of your dreams

This webinar is for purpose-led mid-career (5 yrs+) professionals in social impact, nonprofits, human rights, social entrepreneurship, DEI, and other mission-driven fields.

It's designed to help you know when to quit and make big moves toward your dreams.

You'll learn:

⌛️ How to know when it’s time to go

🫶 Why you should treat your employer like someone you're dating

🔭 What happens when you visualize the future to make big choices today

Reserve your space now for a bonus gift if you attend:

Register in Zoom

Learn more at: https://www.juliafirestonecoaching.com/breakup-with-your-job