This week, I am of course writing from the perspective of a cat. A cat who is stuck in a birdhouse. A cat who has strong opinions. And action 🎬

Hello there, fren. 

I see that you are in a bit of a pickle. I, too, am...a bit stuck. I mean I'm fine. 

DON'T TOUCH MY TAIL.

Anyway, I have some very helpful advice for you about asking for help:

DON'T DO IT.

Here are 3 reasons why you should never ask for help:

1. Hoomins will judge you. They will say you don't know what you're doing and call you lazy for sleeping in a sunbeam and admire you in a condescending way saying all the time, "gosh I wish I could be a cat and live your life!" but Sharon, it's HARDER THAN IT LOOKS and I do this all by myself. 

Don't ask for help.

2. Hoomins will laugh at you. This one is really bad - they may even think it's cute when you try to jump up to the counter but fall splat on your bum and then they might record it and put it on TikTok and then you become famous FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS and more hoomins will watch and laugh and think it's hilarious when you fall down. 

Don't ask for help.

3. Hoomins will realize you are not an all-powerful alien being destined for global domination. I am all of these things, and sometimes a good pounce sneak attack is helpful, but I do want to be feared and mysterious and if I ask the hoomins for help with world domination, they will think I can't do it alone or reference my lack of opposable thumbs which is RUDE, Jason. JASON, WHERE IS YOUR TAIL, HUH?!

Don't ask for help.

Sincerely,

Cat stuck in a birdhouse (DON'T CALL ME CUTE)

K, back to Julia:

So...a cat stuck in a birdhouse may not be the best source of advice.

I recently came across a Linkedin post from someone who shared the deep sense of disappointment he felt after being rejected for a “dream job.” He had been through several rounds of interviews including an in-person interview which required travel before being rejected and felt that he was back at square one in his job search process. 

Here’s the thing - what could have been a defeat became a power move. His post about being rejected now has over 1,000 likes and dozens of offers of introductions and support in the comments. 

Last week in my blog, I referenced the Shame Wizard from the show Big Mouth. He appears at all kinds of inconvenient times, like when characters on the show are in their swimsuits with their classmates, when they’ve done something socially unacceptable, or simply to support daily experiences of self-loathing. 

Honestly, I kind of get why he shows up to all of these situations…but why the hell is the Shame Wizard showing up when we want to leave our jobs? Or build something cool? Or show up on video on Instagram? Or when we need help? 

There's a pretty amazing secret about shame though... 

Shame is amazingly easy to defeat. 

Like the Me Too movement started by Tarana Burke - when you speak openly about something you feel shame about, you find out you’re not alone and that shame starts to disolve. 

Like Shout Your Abortion, a decentralized network of individuals sharing abortion stories. 

There are too many examples to name them all, but what they share in common is a deep sigh of collective validation.

When you share what you feel shame about and ask for help, you’re no longer isolated and carrying its burden alone - and the most beautiful part is that you simultaneously carve out more space for others to feel less alone too. It’s a virtuous cycle of breaking shame. 

So I have a dare for you this week which cat in a birdhouse will be pissed about but c'est la vie! 

Name one thing you need help with on Linkedin and tag me. I’ll re-share and tag the people I know who will help you with the aim of feeling less alone, less ashamed, and that you get the support you effing need. 

Here are some examples: 

I need your help connecting with senior leaders in environmental justice nonprofits.

I need your help getting a seed of an idea off the ground! Here’s a little info about it…

I need your help with spreading the word about my new blog/podcast/business…

Go forth and ask for help, frens. Even if hoomins judge you, laugh at you, or realize you are not an all-powerful alien being destined for global domination, I know you'll feel less alone. Plus, anyone who would judge you or laugh at you is just jealous that you had the guts to ask for what you need. 😉

You got this.

Julia